Conferencing tips as an autistic + ADHD conference-goer

#neurodiversity #codenewbie #career #devrel

I'm an AuDHD (autistic+ADHD) software engineer, and I've been going to tech conferences since OWASP Boston Application Security Conference 2010 when I was in college. I've gone as an attendee, a speaker, helping run a booth, and volunteering in conference programs like GopherCon Guides and GopherCon's Neurospicy Meetup.

In addition to the career benefits of conferencing, such as growing your professional network and seeing more perspectives on the tech you build with, they are also a great way to meet people you know from your favorite online communities. I love the tech conference greeting "Oh hey! I {App}-know you!". Some of my favorite memories in tech have happened at conferences, like hundreds of Gophers exploring New York City on a scavenger hunt at GothamGo, taking an impromptu trip to Red Rocks after meeting a new group of friends on Community Day at GopherCon Denver, and giving my very first tech conference talk at DevFest Albany with several new tech friends in the audience.

However, conferences can be challenging for neurodivergent conference-goers. It's easy to get overwhelmed with too much socializing, or with figuring out which events on the agenda to go to. And packing for a trip with ADHD - well, there's a reason there's so many memes about that in online neurodivergent communities. So I would like to share some of my tips for getting the most out of going to tech conferences while neurodivergnt.

⚠️ Before we start, just one thing to keep in mind, the advice I'm giving is not a definitive one-size-fits-all guide to conferencing while neurodivergent. There's no such guide since even people of the same neurotype can be very different from each other, including having different needs and priorities while conferencing. So instead, treat these tips more like building blocks you can use for building your guide to conferencing, and only use the ones that you find relevant.

Requesting and finding accommodations

Although I haven't formally requested accommodations for a tech conference, I do know that if there are accommodations you need, emailing the organizing team is a good way to request them. Often conferences have contact information for reaching out to organizers on their websites.

You can ask the organizers for details about the venue like its layout, ask about what accommodations are available for neurodivergent attendees, and specifically request accommodations that they might need more advance notice to get. In addition, some conferences put a field in their registration form for attendees to request accommodations you might need.

A few of the accommodations I've seen at conferences that an attendee might ask organizers about are:

Food at conference lunches that's compatible with dietary restrictions if you have any. Often the online registration form has an area for submitting information about dietary restrictions so that organizers can take that into account placing catering orders.
Live-captioning on the big screens for talks, which helps both people with hearing disabilities, and people who have challenges with auditory processing, which is a common issue for autistic people.
Some conferences have chillout areas set up for getting away from the action if you're overwhelmed. I've even heard of conferences that bring in therapy dogs in one area for conference-goers to play with.
- But even if a conference doesn't have a designated chillout area, the organizers could probably tell you where some good spots are in and near the venue to get a break from the action.
Reserved seats, such as closer to the stage for attendees with vision or hearing disabilities, or have another reason to need to be at the front.
The hidden disabilities sunflower lanyard is becoming an increasingly well-known symbol for someone to convey they have a non-visible disability, making it easier to ask for support as the symbol becomes more widely recognized. Besides at conferences, it's also being recognized at a lot of airports.

And remember there is no shame in needing accommodations, just like there is no shame in being neurodivergent or having a disability. So if you need accommodations, don't be ashamed about asking! And it's a good sign about the conference itself if the organizers make the process streamlined for getting accommodations or take the time to understand your needs.

A bag of tips on packing for the event

Packing for a trip while having ADHD can be challenging, since doing laundry and folding it is so stop-and-go, and it's easy to end up switching between categories of things to pack.

In order to make this more manageable, I wouldn't say I have a perfected technique, but some tips that have helped me with my packing, are:

Having dedicated pouches in my backpack for each category of things I'm packing. My bag has four major pouches and they are:
- Large electronics. I've found this dedicated pocket particularly makes it easier at airport security, so I only need to open one pouch in my bag to find all the electronics I need to put in their own bins.
- A dedicated pouch in the most secure part of the bag for all can't-lose items, such as my passport for international conferences. That way, once I show my passport at customs, I can put it there and know that that's the only place it could be until I need it again coming home.
- A pouch for TSA-approved travel-size personal hygiene.
- A pouch for notebooks, pens and pencils, and entertainment.
Leaving those dedicated backpack pouches open until everything for a given pouch is packed, so that the items inside remain visible, which helps with ADHD object-permanence.
Listing out absolute-must-have items. For example, prescription medications if you are taking any, your passport if you are travelling internationally for this conference, and items that your job required you to bring if you're going to the conference as part of work.
Laying out clothes by outfit, rather than by category. I've found that has helped me get a visualization of how many complete outfits (daytime outfits, pajamas, workout clothes, slightly-fancy attire for night events, clothes for any outdoor events) I have so far, and how much more laundry is left to do for my clothes to be completely packed.
Also when it comes to clothes, having a dedicated packing area in my apartment where I lay out those clothes, so that while remaining laundry is in progress, I don't mistakenly re-wear some of the clothes I wanted to pack
Bringing a dedicated reusable bag and saving for swag (the T-shirts, laptop stickers, and trinkets they give away at booths). At bigger conferences, there's a lot of swag you'll get, and that bag makes it easier to keep track of it all.
Speaking of swag, I recommend packing a couple fewer graphic T-shirts than you normally would for a trip, since it's common for companies to give out T-shirts as swag at their booths

Additionally, one other thing I plan on trying for next time I go to a conference is setting up a travel directory on my laptop with templates for packing checklists. That way, packing checklists can be reused and printed out with just small tweaks. I'm planning on making my own template, but searching "packing list template", I am finding a lot of pre-made templates online.

Prioritizing events to go to

Conferences can be overwhelming for neurodivergent attendees. They have a lot of socializing and being in crowds, with the main convention center events often going eight hours or more a day, plus all the afterparties. But one helpful thing I've found from going to so many conferences, is that you don't need to go to everything!

I find it useful to check the agenda once am considering getting my ticket to the conference, so I can pick out the events I really want to focus on being at. By doing that, it's possible to also pick times in the conference that I want to allocate as breaks to decompress. To pick out events, I keep track of three main categories of time blocks:

Time blocks where I committed to being at an event. This would be things like when I am on stage / at mic check if I'm a speaker, being at an event I signed up for as a volunteer, or being at the exhibitors' hall if I signed up for booth duty with work. It also includes workshops I had paid extra to attend, or meeting up with friends I made plans with.
- This also includes scheduling windows of time to eat and decompress.
Talks and or free workshops I really want to see. For me, that's primarily talks on areas of tech I want to learn more about, talks I could see directly benefitting my career, and talks where I'm friends with the speaker and want to hear them.
- I also like to allocate certain hours in this category to participate in the "hallway track" (tech slang for all the networking that happens in the convention center in between talks). That's a good way both to see friends I know from online tech communities like the Gophers and #CodeNewbie, as well as to grow my professional network by visiting the booths and social events like afterparties.
- This also can include seeing things in the area you really want to see. If I've got a conference in San Diego to go to, as an autistic guy with a lifelong Special Interest in animals, you'll definitely find me at the San Diego Zoo (namely at the red panda exhibit).
A remaining category, for if you have left-over social energy, you can also pick some "nice to see" events. For example I like learning in tech about topics that have nothing to do with my current job, so that I can learn about the tech I'd be interested in trying for a side project. So I make a point of going to talks on new areas of tech if I have the social energy, but if I don't, no sweat and no guilt.

If phone reminders help you, then you can put the events you're prioritizing into your phone's reminder app, and from those apps utilize 30-minute warnings. I find that to particularly come in handy for my most important events, and knowing when I need to get back to the convention center if I am seeing friends in town.

Staying regulated and doing self-care at the event

Conferences can be overwhelming for neurodivergent attendees with a lot of socializing and being in crowds, at an event that goes eight hours or more a day, plus going to afterparties. So make sure to do whatever you need to in order to prevent getting overstimulated, so have enough energy for the stuff you really want to see and do.

I particularly make a point of getting outdoors each day at the conference so that I can get some fresh air, as well as time to decompress by not having tech stuff on my mind. Sometimes that's going to things I wanted to see in the city, and other times it's just going exploring on a long lunch walk or eating on my hotel's rooftop when it's warm out.

And as I mentioned in the last section, you can actively allocate time in your go-to calendar app specifically for taking care of yourself and decompressing. And if you do need to exit a social event early because you ran out of social energy, that is completely an option. In my experience, people haven't cared if I've decided to dip from an event early.

If stimming helps you stay regulated, which it does for many autistic people, bring a stim toy. One I use is beaded lava rock bracelets; they're discreet since they're a fashion item, but rolling the beads makes them double as a good stim toy. They also make a cool way to represent your tech stack, by getting a stack of bracelets in the colors for the tech you use or tech communities you're involved in, such as blue for Go, green for Vue, yellow for Python, or purple for the #CodeNewbie community. And there are other discreet stim toys you can find as well online.

Decide for yourself how much you feel willing/safe to "be yourself" at a conference

In many neurodivergent communities, the term "masking" is used to refer to neurodivergent people avoiding expressing neurodivergent traits in order to blend in with their surroundings. This can be things like hiding stims (or making them more discreet as I mentioned before), trying to make more eye contact than normal if eye contact is expected, making small talk which many neurodivergent people find unnatural, or staying longer than you actually want to at an event. Masking may facilitate blending in, but it is stressful to mask for a long time, and it burns through social capacity.

Some reasons someone might mask at a conference are that they are on booth duty or in some customer-facing role at the event for work, or because they are networking on a job search and trying to maximize the odds that their first impression with the company they're talking to "lands" with them (and by the way, if you are a tech employer who wants to be an all). It is unfortunate, but there is still a lot of stigma around being neurodivergent, so there is some risk to showing neurodivergent traits.

However, many neurodivergent conference attendees choose to not mask, and sometimes even be vocally neurodivergent in conferences and other professional spaces. For example, they might choose not to suppress their stims because they want to regulate their energy levels to not get overstimulated. They might express their neurodivergent traits to make it easier for other neurodivergent people to find them, and help them "feel normal" expressing traits they might be masking.

Even when it comes to networking though, I have found that for my entire career, I've been able to use some of my neurodivergent traits to build my personal brand as well as make a lot of great friends in tech. Probably my own most well-known example is how I like to work references to sloths, an autistic Special Interest I've had since 2011, into tutorials that I write and on my posts in tech social media communities. And I'll let you in on a secret about non-tech Special Interests at tech conferences, after a few hours into the convention, it's refreshing to hear people at the hallway track talk about something that isn't tech, or bring up an angle to the tech that they haven't considered. So networking doesn't necessarily have to mean completely masking. And as I said in another post I wrote, neurodiversity strengthens tech communities and devrel!

Whether and how much for you to mask though, is a decision that is yours to make. As an example, for myself one big reason I like to be overtly autistic and ADHD at conferences when I feel safe to, is to de-stigmatize neurodivergence by making it so more people hear about it from our actual perspectives, rather than from the many harmful stereotypes spread about us. However, in more formal settings, I still have some degree of masking to blend in and follow professional etiquette, and to make what I am saying clearer for neurotypicals to understand. So only mask as much or as little as you are willing and feel safe to.

Another tip, at tech conferences, check the program because you might be able to find events where you can be yourself more. For example, outings related to doing something you really like. And you may even find that there is a neurodiversity-focused event at your conference! For example, since 2023, GopherCon has had a Neurospicy meetup for neurodivergent people, people questioning their neurotypes, and neurotypical allies. They rent out a bar, the music is turned down to prevent auditory overstimulation, and people hang out and talk over catered free food, trading Special Interests. I've been there twice, and it was a highlight both times!

Regardless of your neurotype, I hope at some of my tips help you with having a memorable time at tech conferences, and with growing your tech career from conferencing, and if you learned something new about neurodiversity, I would love to hear about it! 🌈♾️