Any Tips on Dealing With the Imposter Syndrome?

I have been wresting with the so-called "imposter syndrome" for a couple of years now. I gave up on coding for a little while and then came back, just to leave for a few months to come back again, then leave and then I came back again and for the last time (no more leaving) this time. I told myself that I would come back this last time and then I am going to do it: "I am going to complete the #100DaysOfCode challenge on Twitter!"

And guess what? After several attempts, this time during a traumatic heartbreak, a painful shoulder, with the experience of my room constantly spinning due to BPPV, recurring nose bleeds (everything at once) and with one day having to go to the library to code because my Wi-Fi went down and with a trip to my dentist for a root canal as well (which is great with my dental fear), with my head tilted to the left for weeks, I finally made it! Nothing could stop me this time!

I first got the imposter syndrome after I had completed my first Hacktoberfest. I remember I was thinking: "There is only a numbered people who get this stuff and why do I deserve the swag, when there must be many way better at coding than I am?"

I kept thinking that I should have known more than I already do, I should have done more than I already have and I should have learned faster than I already do. It also did not help that I kept coming over people on X being negative and complaining, saying that coding is incredible hard!

Have you or somebody you know had the imposter syndrome? Got any tips on how to deal with it?

Comments

[Bruno]

I had to save this article, but I wish I had some other clever and convenient way of “pinning” this article, because I struggle with this a lot of the time, and ha such a great input from you, and all the devs commenting this 😄 I guess everyone has their own way of dealing with impostor syndrome, and it can be really demotivating… but, with the right people around you, sometimes a little push can do miracles 😎 and also making friends with the fact that you have this struggle, it might also help. You know, not looking at it as an “enemy”, but rather a company. It will always be there, but you just have to learn how to give it less credit when it can be ignored, and then it becomes part of the “landscape” eventually 😁 imo, this kind of articles sometimes help “solve” even the trickiest technical challenge, because, if others out there are like me, sometimes it influences the way you handle a particular problem, and once you have gathered the courage to not give a damn about impostor syndrome for a moment and just believe in yourself, you will be able to solve it.

[Anita Olsen]

I appreciate your excellent reply! I totally agree on you on the way of saving articles on here. There should have been another more convenient way of doing this to easier find them again when you need them later, I surely miss that! I intend to share your suggestion shortly 🙂

I agree with you. Being aware of that there is other people who also struggle with the same thing as you do, certainly helps. Yes, excellent advice. Thank you! 😀

[András Tóth]

You need to consider many things as this is a psychological phenomenon:

• undiagnosed issues, like ADHD, can be a very good cause of this; recently it's like every second friend of my getting diagnosed and it's a huge understanding of some phenomenon
• toxic environment: this is almost philosophical and cultural, but should not be your colleagues and mates help you achieving your potential? The fact you cannot trust if they tell you or not that you don't know enough of something and they likely won't help you on that is a reflection how bad corporate culture became, with endless performance reviews and layoffs coming out of blue
• normal reaction when facing such a huge-huge field: there are trends, there are ways to do things, and they change and then we feel insecure; but we are going to nail it; you got here already! How much you have worked so far! It's an achievement on its own.
• maybe it is better to have it than not to have it: sociopaths have this uncanny "illusion of control" when they think they can tackle anything. So maybe if you don't have their self-esteem, in reality, nothing is wrong about you, maybe having a bit of imposter syndrome is totally okay.
• X, like its CEO, is toxic. Personally I don't have Twitter; never missed.

On the other hand I have a checklist for you:

• are you interested in making better decisions in code?
• if I give you a new language, is it possible or impossible to learn it? (Trick question: depends on their tutorials)
• are you working regularly with a programming language (part or full-time)?

If so, you are not an imposter. The first of my question is the most important though. Attitude for writing obvious code will eventually outperform all so called "quick learners" and "hackers".

[Anita Olsen]

Thank you so much for your comment!

[András Tóth]

Good luck in your path! You are not alone and we are here to help! #devsolidarity

[Anita Olsen]

Thank you! I appreciate it! 😀

[George Howell]

so many little minds with giant egos want to put Elon Musk down, where they don't offer a thing to humanity, just servicing their own selfish needs through the duration of their lifespan: producing carbon emissions, massive plastic (non-biodegradable) waste, e-junk, bad karma, and shitty articles (like this one)

[Ben Halpern]

One tip from me is that the symptoms do eventually fade over time, maybe not entirely, but they fade.

People will empathetically let you know that they also "still" feel imposter syndrome even if they are very experienced. This may be true, but the other side of the coin is that it definitely goes away to some degree, which is something you can look forward to.

I think knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel is helpful.

[Anita Olsen]

Thank you so much!

[Michael Tharrington]

This is such a great topic, Anita. You start up so many good discussions!

So, I recently dropped a pretty detailed response to a post titled "If you are not a developer, how can you gain respect on Dev.to?" where I talked a bit about my struggle with imposter syndrome as a non-technical person working in a highly technical community. I'll embed it here as I think it applies well enough. 🙂

Michael Tharrington • Feb 12

First off, I'd just like to note that I'm a Community Manager here at DEV and have been working here for ~5 years, but I'm not a developer. There have been moments where I have felt extreme imposter syndrome — like what the heck am I doing being a Community Manager for a community of software developers when I'm not one myself. But, over time I've grown to feel more comfortable and see the unique value and strengths that I can bring to the table.

As for gaining respect as a non-developer, here are a few tips that I'd suggest:

1. Be yourself. It's best to honest about what you know and what you don't know. I'm not a developer and I don't have any plans to be one — I make that known often. For instance, when I'm talking about something that is technical and perhaps a bit out of my realm (e.g. when I'm responding to someone's post here on DEV) I often start by saying "I'm not a developer" whenever asking my question, sharing my thoughts, or daring to give advice, haha.

2. Treat others with respect. The old line “you have to give respect to get respect" really rings true. Conversations online sometimes spin out of control because of a multitude of reasons: there's no body language to read, folks from different cultures encounter each other and don't understand each others' norms, folks are used to trolls and can be defensive, etc. I think if folks just took a little while longer to think about what they're saying, how they're saying it, and how it might be received by who they're saying it to, then there wouldn't be as many conflicts.

3. Be clear about your intentions. If you're not a developer and you're here, why are you here. Are you hoping to learn to be a developer? Are you trying to learn more about developers and what they're talking about? Are you interested in tech in general? Are you in the tech industry? Do you work for a developer-focused company that maybe sells tools to developers? Whatever it is that you're doing, it's just good to be clear about what brings you here. This kinda gets back to #1.

4. Play by the rules. If you're going to use the website DEV, then just make sure that you're following all of the rules. For instance, if you're sharing a post, I'd be careful to use tags that fit the content of the post. Consider this, a lot of folks are following tags to try and see posts that fit their interests... if you use tags incorrectly, this could be annoying to folks because they'll think that you're misusing the site to try and gain more attention.

5. Engage with folks sincerely. I might sound like a broken record, but this really goes back to #1 and #3, if you pay attention to the things that folks say in their posts and/or comments and respond to them genuinely, typically folks are going to appreciate that. They'll know that you took the time to engage with them. Of course, you need to keep #2 in mind — be respectful and empathetic — but so long as you do that, most people are going to appreciate it.

6. Some folks may still be disrespectful but they aren't really worth your time. Even if you do all of the above, unfortunately, there will likely still be some folks in the mix who are still rude and disrespectful. My advice is don't let it go you down. If someone is acting that way, it's most likely a problem with them, not you. I'd advise to please report them, consider blocking them, and don't bother talking with them anymore. We're not cool with gatekeeperly behavior and if we agree that it crosses the line of what's acceptable via our Code of Conduct, we will intervene appropriately.

Hope these points are helpful and feel free to hit me up if you have any questions!

[Monty Harper]

My internal dialog flips between "This is great - I'm a real coder - I'm amazing" (when I code something and it works, usually after lots of debugging, mind you) and "I'll never be a real iOS Developer - I'll never get a job at it - and if I do I will flail and fail - I'm too slow - I don't grasp all the fundamentals - everyone can see my code is a complete mess" (usually when I'm applying for jobs.)

It helps me to focus on what I've accomplished. I saw that you posted to this week's "what was your win?" post (that's what brought me here).

I posted there too, and until I really thought about it, I was feeling pretty down about this week; there are so many things on my list I didn't get to. Progress always feels slow to me. But posting made me realize I got more things done than I was giving myself credit for. I often skip that post because I don't feel like I have anything to say, but this is a big mistake. I think it's necessary to acknowledge our own accomplishments, however small. Otherwise the (untrue) feeling of making no progress can become very overwhelming.

I can see you're struggling with a lot of external obstacles. Some weeks just sitting down at the computer is an accomplishment. The pace at which you move forward is not entirely up to you. We are all limited by our circumstances. We all have interruptions to the process. None of that makes you "not a coder." As long as you are putting in the effort to keep learning over the long haul, you are the real deal.

Also, you do not have to be the greatest coder to be taken seriously. Of course a lot of people are way better than you. EVERY coder in the world can say that about themselves; no one person is the best at everything. Why do you deserve the swag? Because you were there and you put in the effort and you liked it. Instead of thinking of the thousand people who are better coders than you, think of the billions of people who would run away screaming in terror at the very thought of trying to understand this stuff. That's almost every person I've ever known in my life. That's why I'm a coder and they're not.

Finally, dump X. Just get out of there - it's a toxic wasteland of negativity and misinformation. You don't need that in your life. There are plenty of ways outside of X to connect with other coders. I will never go back to it. That's just my personal take. I know it's easier said than done.

Hang in there! The bottom line is, do you love to code? Then you're a coder!

[Mohammed]

Yeah X is not typically the most encouraging place on the internet. It's full of a bunch of people who'd like to try and bring themselves up by putting others down. I don't even bother reading comments on most posts, it's a firestorm of sarcasm and hateful comments.

[Ben Link]

I read these comments and I generally agree with most of the points made.

I'd like to highlight a few that were/are part of my own experience:

• Toxic Environment: This will increase the severity of your syndrome, because people around you will actively sabotage any good thing you do.
• It doesn't ever go away: Some of the most advanced people I've ever met face this same battle. It isn't like you're going to reach a point in your career where you don't feel that way occasionally anymore. It's about learning to cope with the negative voice and replace it with positivity. Getting to a non-toxic environment (previous point) will help tremendously with this.
• Achieving a personal goal is a great antidote: Your story of doing the 100 days of code or Hacktoberfest are GREAT ways to combat the feeling. In my experience, I'm the kind of person who doesn't accept praise very well... I'm always like "eh, it wasn't anything spectacular, anybody could do it". The point, however, is that THEY DON'T, AND I DID. And that's worth celebrating.
• Mentoring someone junior can help in multiple ways: Selfishly speaking, you're able to compare yourself to someone junior and see how far you've come. Altruistically speaking, you're sharing your knowledge and experience with someone and helping them level up. Your Impostor battle will help you relate to them better, because they're probably feeling a twinge of it too.

[Jochelle]

I suffer from this most of the days, even after being in this field for 9 years. I t is quite common tha you think.
What worked for me, is trying to do better each day, even if the task took me a bit long, but getting it done.

Don't be hard on yourself. Just try a bit harder each day :)

[Anita Olsen]

Aw. Thank you SO much for your comment! 🙂
Welcome to DEV by the way! 😊

[Stefan Moore]

1. Don't compare yourself to others
2. Don't expect to excel at something until you try it and succeeds.
3. Confidence in yourself.
4. Meditation.
5. Do something other than tech at the moment.

[Mohammed]

Wow, I hope you're feeling better. With respect to "I kept thinking that I should have known more than I already do, I should have done more than I already have and I should have learned faster than I already do." I think maybe you're going about this a bit wrong.

There's always going to be something you don't know. Learning is a life-long process, and nobody can claim to know everything. You have to get comfortable with not knowing, and comfortable with the confidence that you're great at what you already know.

[Vivek Thakur]

I never heard about this syndrome -_-

[Anita Olsen]

Wow, I am surprised you have not heard about it before! It is common among software developers.

[Vivek Thakur]

Yeah never heard of, is it dangerous?