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Resigning with grace

Sylwia Vargas on March 26, 2021

🥳 I have good news to share: this week I started a new job! 🥳 I am now a full-time technical writer at Vonage, a company that offers text message...
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Pandita

aaah you definitely resigned with grace! I'm going to save this blog post in case I need to resign (hopefully not soon).

I've never seen graceful resignations D: I think it's a bit unusual when it happens (in my life at least! lol). I've seen a lot of ghosting, anger and high tensions but nothing similar to your experience (which needs to be more common!).

Congrats on your new job! you'll do great :D

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Sylwia Vargas • Edited

Ohhh isn’t that sad? We spend so much time at work that ideally, our decision to move on would be dictated by an opportunity to grow professionally and not by being disappointed. And in the perfect world, such a decision would be supported. I have been very lucky with almost excusively lovely exits ✨

Quite a few years ago, I tried to leave gracefully (and gave a three month notice!!) but towards the end my boss started treating me like air — she’d ask my colleague to tell me something even when I was right there in the room 😳 I tried to clear this out before moving on. She told me she felt betrayed with me leaving (even though I was moving countries). I didn’t do much of it because that was not on me - people leave companies, that’s a fact of life. I still am in touch with the folks there and I still feel good about the company and my overall experience there.

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panditapan profile image
Pandita

Yes that's true! Life is all about unions and separations, it's hard to accept though!

I'm glad that you've had some really good experiences exiting! I haven't really hahaha I'm definitely in the bag of leaving a company because of disappointment, but hopefully going forward my experiences improve overall :3

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aboutandre

This is a great post for today. I'm a freelancer and after long months of consultancy with clients it always comes a time to part ways.

Today was one of those days with my favorite client.

But I always want to have the possibility of future partnerships. I've learned to "leave gracefully" (as you so nicely put) with all my companies, even before I started freelancing. Everywhere I was so humbled and glad to hear "If you ever want to come back, the door is always open".

I always invite the whole team for a lunch, even the trainees. You never know who will have a lead for a great job/project somewhere in the future (plus I can deduct 70%). Today I will just buy nice chocolate bars for everyone and leave them at the front desk, where the secretary can send each one of those to the members of my team with the next WFH package. With Covid this is the best I can do.

I've always asked for an "exit talk", as employee or freelancer. I want to receive feedback, positive or otherwise, but constructive. Maybe I'm lucky, but I never worked in such a toxic environment that I just had to run out of there.

I think at the end it's more about every single day that you work should be graceful. Thank colleagues daily for the great work (this is too often overlooked). Be a mentor. Share ideas. Be a human being.

Then leaving is just another graceful day.

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Sylwia Vargas

THANK YOU for this comment!

I always invite the whole team for a lunch, even the trainees.

^ that’s so important! I’m always annoyed with how some folks just try to please the higher-ups and totally disregard the interns, the admin staff, the maintenance staff. Beyond the “networking” and “relationship-building”, I just think it’s the baseline courtesy to recognize the hard work everyone does!

I think at the end it's more about every single day that you work should be graceful. Thank colleagues daily for the great work (this is too often overlooked). Be a mentor. Share ideas. Be a human being.

I could not agree more!! Thank you.

I hope that your exit goes smooth today - and that it’s possibly not a “goodbye” but a “see-you-later”!

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mkshid profile image
M. Hassan Khurshid

Hi Sylwia!

I am really happy to see that there is someone else trying (and succeeding) to resign with grace :D I am in the middle of one too I hope that everything will go fine!
I am definitely attached to this company, to my colleagues and to what we achieved together in these years but not having anymore an opportunity to grow professionally lead me to decide to leave the company but I would like to maintain a good relationship even after I leave so I am proceeding with more or less the same plan/path :D

You definitely made my day! Thank you!

Congrats on your new job!

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Sylwia Vargas

Ohhhh thank you 🥰 I love your attitude to moving on — especially that relationships made on a job are a real treasure you get to carry wherever you go. Who knows, maybe in 5 years you’ll all end up starting a business together, or just remain/become great non-work friends?

I do recognize how a person’s leaving can be sad for folks. I also see how someone’s resignation can give a rise to lots of questions for oneself -> “what AM I doing here? why AM I still here? is this job not good?”
I believe that some folks get sour not because of the resignation itself but more do, with their own internal conflicts. Good news is that time usually fixes that 💕

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M. Hassan Khurshid

especially that relationships made on a job are a real treasure you get to carry wherever you go.
Who knows, maybe in 5 years you’ll all end up starting a business together, or just remain/become great non-work friends?

Yes totally! I could not agree more!

I also see how someone’s resignation can give a rise to lots of questions for oneself -> “what AM I doing here? why AM I still here? is this job not good?”

Good point! I did not think about that but actually, I am trying to explore some opportunities that probably I would not have thought about taking seriously before! 🤯

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huncyrus

Resign with grace is most likely just urban legend in IT (Insert "change my mind" meme here). It is always salty and bad - from some(ones) point of view.

But here are a few thing, what is positive:

  • In Sweden, there is a tradition (at least in the area where I live) to have final lunch/dinner with all the colleague where they eat together the leaver favourite food.
  • In Germany, there were a professional courtesy when leaver receive multiple recommendation from colleagues and the company itself. (This one should be normal, but it is not, 99.99% company does not care of an employee, even if they stated that, this only true until its beneficial or inside a comfort zone)
  • In UK, I seen as contractor different companies where the leaver bough some beverages and a cake for the leaving day.

And as the darker side:

  • Many time people just disappear (company set every access off), and then the employee cannot be found (phone/email/personally). I seen this in almost everywhere in EU.
  • Many company - just like a ritual - try to avoid every payment from the leaving moment. Surprisingly, not just small companies but huge conglomerates also try to trick out money from leavers pocket.

Under 20 years, I seen many different things.

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Madelene Campos

I resigned just this past Monday from a job I've been in for 3 years! The above confirms that I "did it right". Thank you for that! We use Basecamp for our team announcements, and a few have resigned prior to myself, so I kind of had an idea of how to "do it right". Like you said, the team message was posted well after my engineering manager was aware (first verbally, then in a formal email/in writing) and after a few individual colleagues were personally approached (so they didn't have to be surprised via the Basecamp post). This post couldn't have arrived in my inbox at a better time :)

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Sylwia Vargas

Oh that’s fantastic! Thank you for sharing this. Folks who show consideration for others’ well-being always make my day 🌞
I hope that you’re off to a new adventure — or just to a good well-deserved rest!

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Madelene Campos

Both! Taking a week off in-between adventures :)

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PJH

After you've landed a job:

  • Send a resignation letter

I believe you've missed a step before sending that letter: Resign verbally to your line manager (where you can state reasons etc. if you really want/have to.)

The resignation letter should be a simple affair with only a few sentences, detailing the fact you're resigning, and your last day at work. Possibly confirming your understanding of what's happening with untaken holiday.

"Thanks for the memories" optional.

But it should be sent after you've had that conversation.

The resignation letter is not the place for airing gripes, or explaining how fantastic the offer you're taking up is, or anything else you'd've had in that conversation with your line manager.

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Sylwia Vargas • Edited

Thank you for your comment — I agree! If you see the section before that (and the comments I wrote), you’ll see that that’s exactly what I propose 💕

EDIT: Hmmm I see how this could not be clear — I’ll add more direct phrasing. But, yes, my process definitely involves keeping my manager up to date with the job search news, which also included the verbal resignation.

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Jon Randy 🎖️

Exit interview? Are those even real?

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Sylwia Vargas

Yes! I always had that, even in Europe. I assume you never had one? How has resigning and offboarding typically looked for you so far?

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Samuel Ochuba

Congratulations on your new job. Very insightful article. Definitely bookmarking it for when I will need it

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Sylwia Vargas

Thank you, Samuel ✨

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Bojan Božić

Congrats Sylwia, I'm so happy for you!

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Sylwia Vargas

Thank you, Bojan!
I was just about to message you, actually (and finally)!