Juggling Tech and Fatherhood. Circa January 2024
1 Introduction
Like a mature spinster eventually finding a husband, on January 6, 2025, at the ancient age of 41, and a little over two and a half years into my self-study journey, I was finally adjudged to have learned enough code to land a job where someone agreed to pay me regularly for writing it professionally.
This milestone was especially sweet, given that, through the years since being bitten by the tech bug, I must have read countless stories of others who had made the leap into tech. Now, I'm thrilled to at last be on the other side, with my own story to tell.
2 My Past Career
Since earning my BSc, I’ve had a diverse and nomadic career, primarily in sales, with stints in videography, teaching, and compliance. I’ve worked full-time at over ten companies and have a strong track record of securing jobs on merit. Throughout my career, I’ve led teams across multiple roles, managed subordinates effectively, and consistently met or exceeded targets.
However, in hindsight, I see that I wasn’t without flaws. While I thoroughly understood my job responsibilities, I struggled with office politics. I failed to grasp a crucial truth: managing downlines is essential for survival, but managing uplines is the key to thriving. To truly unlock one’s full career potential, being liked—or even loved—by peers and bosses is just as important as competence.
Looking deeper, I suspect this challenge traces back to my childhood. Having been bullied extensively as a child and teen, I became a loner. While this had its benefits—I never succumbed to peer pressure and have never smoked or done drugs—it also made bonding and teamwork difficult. I often prioritized my own path over building goodwill with colleagues, and in the long run, these missteps stunted my professional growth.
Reading Adedeji Olowe’s reflections on his early career struggles resonated deeply with me. His story felt strikingly familiar and reinforced many of my own realizations. (Read his story here: “https://dejiolowe.com/2024/12/11/let-he-who-is-without-sin-cast-the-first-stone”)
3 Personal State Of Mind
I've always had a natural enthusiasm for tech—I wrote my first HTML and CSS codes around 2002. However, with little guidance, I never pursued it seriously. Sales was fulfilling, but ultimately, it felt like a generic skill—one that anyone could be trained in within days.
As I grew older, I began to truly believe in the saying: "If you want an easier life, learn to solve harder problems." That mindset became the driving force behind my decision to embrace tech—a field where I believed I could create impactful solutions, tackle more complex challenges, and ultimately retire well off.
To develop my tech skills, I drew inspiration from my fitness journey. Since August 2020, I’ve been a dedicated calisthenics practitioner, hitting the gym at least three times a week. Both tech and fitness are romanticized and filled with hype—many start, but fewer than 10% follow through. I've witnessed this at the gym, and I've seen it in tech with two of my earliest study buddies who eventually dropped off. But I made fitness a lifestyle through unwavering commitment and consistency. I knew that if I could master calisthenics, I could apply the same discipline to mastering tech.
Becoming a first-time father in July 2023 was a pivotal moment that further fueled my motivation to stay focused on my goals. My aim is to provide a better life for my son than I had, so he can, in turn, build a brighter future for his own children and community.
I chose the self-taught path not only because I'm a bit frugal (lol), but also because, in tech, knowledge cannot be mechanically transmitted—it can only be acquired through deep self-study. Ultimately, you're responsible for your own success. Furthermore, web development isn’t a field defined by certifications—it’s about evidence-based skills. I’ve always believed that JavaScript—and software development in general—isn’t something best learned in tech schools or boot camps. At best, they’re appetizers. True mastery comes from making it a lifestyle and consistently working on it day and night for months or even years.
Throughout this journey, I’ve kept Ekpa Ntan’s (a senior colleague I met earlier “https://www.linkedin.com/in/ekpa-ntan-3571299b/”) words close to heart: 'Never stop learning, never stop practicing, never stop improving. It's better to be prepared and not have opportunities yet than to spot opportunities and not be sufficiently qualified for them”.
4 My Coding Journey
Everyone's coding journey is unique, with some progressing faster than others. My own journey has been long and winding, marked by periods of intense focus punctuated by distractions. However, in April 2022, circumstances changed, and I made the decision to commit to learning full-time.
A personal setback in December 2022—when my car was stolen—further galvanized my determination. I doubled down on my efforts, adopting a “do or die” mentality, driven by the promise of future rewards far surpassing this loss.
It’s important to note that the bar for entering the tech industry has risen significantly. The skills that were sufficient for landing a job in 2016 are no longer enough; today, you need to know at least 10 times more to be competitive.
4A. My Coding Timeline
I’ve always embraced project-based learning, which is the standard in web development. I’ve built projects based on what I’ve learned and estimate that I’ve deployed over 100 finished apps to GitHub at one point or another (though many of the earlier ones have since been deleted). My initial projects were mostly sourced from FrontendMentor “https://frontendmentor.io/”, and I highly recommend them.
Here’s a brief overview of my journey:
- April – June 2022: Brushed up on HTML & CSS over two months while learning intermittently.
- Mid to Late 2022: Focused on JavaScript, building projects consistently. My WhatsApp friends can testify—I spammed them with countless project links for feedback.
- Early 2023: Started learning React, Next.js, TypeScript, and Tailwind CSS, building projects along the way.
- First Interviews (Early 2023): Quickly realized I needed to upskill significantly to be job-ready.
- November 2023: Began grinding LeetCode daily for consistency.
- Late 2023: Started backend development with Node.js, Express, and MongoDB (MERN stack).
- Early 2024: Landed an unpaid internship for three months, which exposed me to real-world tech environments.
- Mid 2024: Expanded into SQL, relational databases, ORMs, API development, testing, and authentication.
- Q3 2024: Earned my first pay from coding (converting Figma designs to code—though I didn’t deliver 100%). Also started interviewing more seriously.
- Q4 2024: Interview-heavy phase, applying more strategically, improving my performance, and continuously upskilling.
4B. How Coding Became a Lifestyle
Tech became more than just a career path—it became my lifestyle. I actively participated in:
- Mark Essien’s HNG Internship (2023)
- Multiple Chingu cohorts (pair programming & team projects)
- Tech spaces on Twitter, engaging in discussions and networking
- Tech-focused YouTube channels, absorbing valuable insights
- Discord & Telegram coding communities, learning and sharing knowledge
- Numerous physical & online interviews, including take-home assessments
- Extensive use of AI for learning & productivity
- Countless hobby projects & technical writing, refining my skills
- Optimized my Twitter and LinkedIn connections to center around the tech industry, engaging mainly with developers, engineers, and tech enthusiasts
By late 2024, all this effort culminated in my first official coding job. It was a long road of relentless learning, continuous self-improvement, and unwavering determination.
5 Learning Resource Recommendations
For full-stack web development, I relied heavily on the following three interactive and free resources:
freeCodeCamp “https://www.freecodecamp.org/learn”.
Codecademy “https://www.codecademy.com/catalog”.
Scrimba “https://v2.scrimba.com/courses”.
In addition to these resources, I generously utilized YouTube tutorials and courses to dive deeper into specific topics as needed.
For career path guidance and a comprehensive roadmap, I frequently referred to The Odin Project “https://www.theodinproject.com/paths”.
As I gained more experience, I began relying more on official documentation as a primary learning resource. Reading and consulting documentation became an essential part of my education, helping me understand frameworks, libraries, and best practices directly from the source.
6 Practical Reality of Software Development
Acquiring new skills, whether for a career change or otherwise, is a process that takes time. Be wary of anyone promising instant results, such as learning X in 90 days and making big money. These claims are often designed to exploit desperation and extract payment for courses or other resources.
Many Nigerians who made a midlife career change after relocating abroad (Japa) can attest that success didn't come overnight. It took them time, often a couple of years, to find balance and stability. The key is to stay resolute and focused on long-term goals.
6A. The Two-Part Journey of Learning to Code
Learning to code is a two-part journey:
The first and hardest part – Becoming skilled enough to land your first job.
The second, lifelong part – Committing to continuous learning so you can grow, stay relevant, and maybe even "blow". I’m all in for both!
6B. Navigating Tech as a Midlife Career Changer
Be prepared for disrespect, especially in Nigeria, where cheap labor is abundant. Keep your eyes on the end goal and stay the course.
Your first job won’t be glamorous, but it gets you in the door. The key difference? You’ll be writing production-ready code, not just hobby projects.
Humble beginnings are part of the process. They build your experience and propel your skillset—a necessary rite of passage.
If you persist, the sky's the limit! Options include freelancing (Upwork, etc.), applying for high-paying remote jobs, or emigrating as a skilled worker. Either way, software development makes you a highly sought-after professional.
6C. Dealing With Ageism
Ageism exists. (I’m the oldest person in my branch and likely among the oldest persons in my company.) While it can be challenging, it’s not impossible to thrive in spite of it.
Stay humble. De-emphasize age in your CV and personal branding. What matters is what you can do, not how old you are.
6D. Ideal vs. Reality of Transitioning to Tech
The best time to transition is during your university days, NYSC, or as a job seeker, when you don’t have heavy financial responsibilities.
If you’re older, you must make extreme sacrifices, devoting most of your time and attention to code. Plus have other sources of income to sustain yourself while learning.
Expect it to take at least anywhere from 1 to 3 years before you can minimally sustain yourself with your tech earnings.
And If you can’t keep the hunger away long enough to focus and learn tech, you honestly won’t make it.
7 My Job story
I’ll never forget the path that led me to my current role. Ironically, the same company that hired me had previously rejected me for a volunteer position. That rejection was a stark reminder of my desperation at the time—I was applying to every opportunity that crossed my path, regardless of fit, just to gain interview experience.
This wasn’t my first time applying twice to the same company. In fact, I had reached the interview stage twice at two other companies before ultimately failing both times.
However, perseverance eventually paid off. Here’s a brief timeline of my final application and hiring process: Everything was done remotely prior to hiring. But work is onsite.
November 16, 2024 – Submitted my first application for a different role, but the interview was unsuccessful.
December 25, 2024 – Reapplied to the company.
December 27, 2024 – Attended my first interview.
December 31, 2024 – Completed a take-home test.
January 3, 2025 – Participated in a review session for the take-home project.
January 6, 2025 – Started work on an initial three-month contract.
This experience reinforced an important lesson: rejection isn’t failure—it’s just a step in the process. Keep learning, keep improving, and keep trying. Eventually, the right door will open.
8 Real-Life Stories of Resilience in Tech
The current tech landscape is undeniably challenging. Layoffs, remote work shifts, and AI-driven automation have made it easier for companies to outsource tasks, increasing job uncertainty. However, for many African developers, our lower capital costs make us attractive outsourcing candidates—creating opportunities despite the global downturn.
Even in the U.S., I’ve seen several experienced tech YouTubers I follow navigate layoffs and eventually find new jobs in 2024, proving that persistence pays off. Here are some of their their inspiring stories:
Chris Sean: "It Took Me 9 Months To Get A New Tech Job | Life as a Web Developer 2024" (July 9, 2024) “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt2TwifKh30&t=22s&ab_channel=ChrisSean”
Cody Codes: "I got a Software Engineering Job in the WORST job market (2024)" (October 10, 2024) “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUVRsUiBMb8&ab_channel=CodyCodes”
Namanh Kapur: "Laid Off to Senior Software Engineer at LinkedIn (My Story)" (November 27, 2024) “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdWM3q8fiHE&t=2s&ab_channel=NamanhKapur”
Bukola: "I Got An Offer | Job Searching In A Tough Tech Market Ep 4" (January 5, 2025) “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9Ky_EN6Z2s&ab_channel=Bukola”
These stories reinforce a simple truth: where there’s a will, there’s a way.
To successfully navigate today’s job market, it’s essential to:
✅ Save money to weather uncertain periods.
✅ Diversify income streams to reduce reliance on a single job.
✅ Stay adaptable and continuously learn new skills.
The tech industry is tough, but resilience and strategy can make all the difference.
9 Heartfelt Shout-Outs
I'd like to extend my heartfelt gratitude to the following individuals who have supported me throughout my journey:
My wife, Neky – For making this journey possible in every way.
Solomon Ekrebe “https://www.linkedin.com/in/krebedev/” – For always lending a listening ear and providing guidance from Day 1.
Obinna Akunne “https://www.linkedin.com/in/obinna-akunne-080b5273/” – My cousin, for being a real-life example of the possibilities before me.
Chinonso Ani “https://www.linkedin.com/in/chinonso-ani/” – For giving me the privilege of my first real work experience simulations.
All four of my living siblings – For loving me unconditionally.
Thank you all for your encouragement and motivation. I couldn’t have done it without you.
Top comments (8)
Congratulations! Inspiring. I've been on the career changing software engineering path for just over 2 years now myself. I find learning to code is the easy part. Playing the networking game on LinkedIn and applying for interviews is the hardest, hate-the-most part.
This is very inspiring, Thanks for sharing this and putting it all to bare, making the process humane. As with every journey to personal attainment, the process is always personal to each individual, the familiarity in your experience makes my own current journey not feel alone.
Within the journey you learn more not about the destination, but about the traveller.
Thanks for the shoutout!
This was worthy of reading.. very insightful and thoughtful provoking. Breaking into tech at midlife...hmmm. this story resonates with my visions embarking on a career shift...hopefully I'm able to tell this story soon enough....
Very informative too.
Well done Trae... and congratulations navigating into the tech space. Super proud.
This was really well written. Congrats on landing a job!
Thanks for sharing, very inspiring.
This is so inspirational. Thank you for taking the time to capture your experiences. I am so proud to identify with this success and to again tell myself Its never too late to start.
Very inspiring, and beautifully crafted. Congrats again on landing your first job @trae_z
This is truly inspirational and relatable since I am also a mid life career changer with a somewhat similar story.